Jesus' Nineteenth Year 

When Jesus turned nineteen years old in 13 CE, he had been a father to his siblings for the five years since his father’s untimely death in 8 CE, and he and his mother, Mary, were getting along well. She now viewed him more as father to the children than as her son. Their lives were busy with family activity and dealing with life’s difficulties, so they hardly ever talked about his future life’s work. The four boys and three girls in their care took all of their time and attention.

Jesus had developed a unique style of parenting with his siblings and Mary had come to fully accept it. The hallmark of his parenting style was his adoption of the method of teaching the children to do good, rather than using the traditional Jewish method of forbidding them to do evil. And he later carried this method of instruction over into his public teaching career. He was fond of saying, "You shall do this – you ought to do that," instead of following the old taboos against evil. He didn’t call attention to evil by forbidding it. He rather demonstrated the value of goodness by encouraging his siblings to embrace it. The family held regular prayer time during which everything and anything could be discussed regarding the family’s welfare.

Jesus’ methods of discipline were so successful that his brothers and sisters were rarely punished; instead, they were taught from an early age that wholehearted obedience was the preferred behavior. Only Jude deviated from this acceptance of Jesus’ parenting; his behaviors warranted penalties from time to time due to his deliberate infractions of the family rules of conduct. But Jude knew when he was in the wrong, and when he was punished, it was by unanimous agreement of the other children, and agreement by Jude himself.

Jesus exhibited a refreshing mix of justice and fairness in his dealing with his brothers and sisters. He was able to apply his rulings for them with an adaptation in the way he interpreted situations and made them suitable for each individual child. All the children were impressed by this; he was never arbitrary with his discipline and his consistency and consideration for each child endeared Jesus to the whole family.

James and Simon tried to follow Jesus’ advice for making peace with some of their more aggressive and angry playmates through persuasion and non resistance; and they were partially successful. But Joseph and Jude, while agreeing that this was the best way when they were at home, were quick to defend themselves if they were bullied. Jude was particularly quick to violate these teachings. However, non-resistance was not a hard and fast family rule, and there were no punishments attached when these violations happened.

Jesus was liberal in modifying the Sabbath observance and other religious practices for the family and Mary was heartfelt in her agreement with the changes he made. By this time, Jesus was unquestionably the head of the house.

For the most part, Jesus’ brothers and sisters treated Jesus just as they would an affectionate father. They confided in him and consulted with him about their troubles. The girls in particular found Jesus to be a receptive and loving father.

James was maturing into a balanced and composed young man, though he didn't possess the same spiritual inclination as Jesus. In terms of academics, he outshone Joseph, who, while a diligent worker, had even fewer spiritual leanings. Joseph was a persistent worker but fell short of the intellectual abilities of the other kids. Simon was a well-intentioned boy but he tended to do a lot of daydreaming. His slow progress with settling into life caused Jesus and Mary considerable concern, yet he remained good-hearted and well-meaning. Jude, in contrast, was a passionate individual with high ideals, but his temperament was unpredictable. He inherited much of his mother's determination and aggressiveness, yet lacked some of her sense of balance and discretion.

Miriam possessed a balanced and composed nature, and she possessed a deep appreciation for the noble and spiritual aspects of life. Martha, on the other hand, exhibited a more deliberate and dependable disposition, even if she moved and thought at a slower pace. Little Ruth, the baby of the family, brought warmth and joy into the household; although her words were sometimes thoughtless, her heart overflowed with sincerity. She loved her big brother/father beyond measure. Even though she was the apple of everyone’s eye, they were careful not to spoil her. And while she was a beautiful child, she wasn’t quite as lovely as Miriam. Miriam was the true beauty of the family, if not the whole city.

This year, the family still struggled to pull out of their state of poverty. Jesus had to sell his harp in order to meet the expenses of school for Jude. This was a real hardship for him as he dearly loved to play the harp as a way to relax. But he was happy to know that his beloved harp would not go to pay taxes.

But even though the family was quite poor, this did not stand in the way of Jesus’ social standing in the community. He was known and loved by many in Nazareth, especially the young women of the town. One young girl in particular found herself falling in love with Jesus. Rebecca, daughter of Ezra, a prosperous merchant and businessman of Nazareth, was so smitten with Jesus that she proposed marriage to him. Her father approved and even tried to convince Jesus to marry her. This was a new experience for Jesus and he had to face the dilemma of politely declining her proposal. But this left him free to continue his devotion and attention to the task of rearing his father Joseph’s family — a task that he had embraced with a whole heart.