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Jesus Receives a Marriage Proposal 

13 CE

At nineteen, Jesus caught the attention of a young woman named Rebecca who fell in love with him. Despite her wealthy background and her father's support, Jesus declined her proposal, citing family obligations.

Jesus Receives a Marriage Proposal
  • Summary

    When Jesus was nineteen years old, in 13 CE, he was a prominent member of Nazareth society. Even though he was poor, he was still very well thought of by all, especially the young women of the town. He was handsome and smart, not to mention a well-known spiritual leader.

    A young woman named Rebecca was smitten with Jesus and felt herself falling in love with him. She confessed her feelings to Jesus’ sister, Miriam. Along with Jesus’ mother, Mary, Miriam tried to talk Rebecca out of her intentions by explaining to her how much Jesus was needed at home, plus the truth of what they believed about Jesus as a "son of destiny." But this information only made Rebecca more determined. She believed herself to be a fit partner for such a great religious leader. And she knew that her wealthy father would gladly make up any financial shortfall that would be caused by Jesus marrying her.

    Even so, Miriam and Mary would not give their blessings to Rebecca’s desire to be married to Jesus. So, she decided to go to Jesus with her proposal directly at her seventeenth birthday party.

    Rebecca and her father made the case to Jesus that he should consider marrying Rebecca, but Jesus cited his obligations to his family which caused Rebecca’s father to withdraw from the discussion.

    And then Jesus had to sympathetically and kindly let Rebecca down by refusing her offer of marriage. Rebecca was heartbroken. She and her father moved to another town, and she refused any subsequent proposal of marriage from any other man, remaining true to Jesus in her heart. She faithfully followed his career, and at the end was one of the few people who witnessed the crucifixion of the Master that dark day on Golgotha.

  • Rebecca Falls in Love with Jesus

    Despite Jesus' humble economic status, his standing in the community of Nazareth remained unimpaired. He was highly esteemed among the young men and greatly admired by most of the young women. Given Jesus' remarkable physical and intellectual qualities, coupled with his reputation as a spiritual leader, it was not surprising that Rebecca, the eldest daughter of Ezra, a prosperous merchant and trader from Nazareth, gradually found herself falling in love with Joseph's son. Rebecca confided her feelings to Miriam, Jesus' sister, who then discussed the matter with their mother, Mary.

    Mary became deeply concerned. Jesus had become such an important part of the Nazareth family, how could they possibly face losing him? Moreover, Mary knew that Jesus was her "child of promise." What would marriage do to his future path? She knew he was destined for greatness, that he was possibly even the awaited Messiah. So, Mary and Miriam went directly to Rebecca, sharing their concerns completely and honestly.

    Rebecca listened to what Mary and Miram told her, and she was even more excited by what she heard. She was more determined than ever to join her fate with this chosen man and be a part of his path of leadership. She told herself that such a remarkable individual would certainly require a faithful and capable wife. She saw Mary's attempts to dissuade her as a natural response to the fear of losing the head and sole provider of their family. However, being aware that her father approved of her attraction to the carpenter's son, she rightly believed that he would willingly provide Jesus’ family with sufficient income to compensate for his lost earnings. Once her father agreed to this plan, Rebecca assured Mary and Miriam that they would experience no loss of income. Yet, still unable to garner their support, she summoned the courage to approach Jesus directly. With her father's cooperation, she took a bold step and invited Jesus to their home to celebrate her seventeenth birthday.

  • The Proposal

    Jesus was sympathetic to the proposals of Rebecca and her father. But he made it clear that he had no intention of removing himself from the family home and his personal attention to his obligation to "fulfill the most sacred of all human trusts—loyalty to one’s own flesh and blood." Ezra was touched by Jesus' devotion to his family. He even began to believe that Jesus was too noble to become their son through marriage. And he removed himself from the discussion.

    Jesus was now faced with letting Rebecca down gently. He honestly had never really thought about the young women of the town; his mind was preoccupied with day-to-day life in his busy household. And, of course, he was always thinking of his future career when he could "be about his Father’s business." So, this was a new problem for him, but one that many humans may face in their lifetime.

    After carefully listening, he expressed genuine gratitude to Rebecca for her admiration, assuring her that it would bring him joy and comfort for the rest of his life. He explained to her that he could not engage in romantic relationships with any woman; he could only enjoy relationships with women that were based on brotherly affection and pure friendship. He told her again that his primary and utmost responsibility was to support and raise his father's family, and only after fulfilling that duty could he consider marriage. But, he added, "If I am destined for a special purpose, I must not undertake lifelong commitments until the time when my destiny is revealed."

    Rebecca was heartbroken and inconsolable. She was so upset that she begged her father to leave Nazareth. He finally agreed, and they moved to Sepphoris. And from there, Rebecca followed Jesus’ career quietly and devotedly. She never married. And at the end, she was counted among the other women who stood at the foot of the cross and witnessed the death of the Son of Man, "the one altogether lovely and the greatest among ten thousand."

Suggested Reading from this Essay

Related People

  • Miriam

    Jesus' oldest sister.

  • Mary

    The chosen mother of Jesus.

  • Rebecca

    Proposed marriage to Jesus when he was nineteen.

Related Topics

Related Locations

  • Nazareth

    The town of Jesus’ upbringing.

Contributors

MaryJo Garascia, Mike Robinson, Gary Tonge

References and Sources

  • 127:5.1 Rebecca, the Daughter of Ezra.
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