Judas Commits Suicide 

After the final decree of death, Jesus was delivered to the Roman soldiers who would take him to Golgotha for crucifixion. And while this was happening, a meeting took place between the Jewish guards, the chief priest, and assorted Sanhedrists, who convened to discuss these recent happenings. Into this meeting, Judas Iscariot appeared in order to claim the reward that he expected to receive for his role in delivering Jesus up for arrest.

But these Jews did not welcome Judas. In fact, they detested him and made no secret about their feelings towards him. Judas didn’t like their attitude and he began to feel uneasy about what he had done; his conscience was beginning to bother him. Nevertheless, he still expected to be recognized. He thought highly of himself and felt that he had done a service for his country for which he deserved honor. So, he was more than surprised when Caiaphas’ servant took him out of the hall and placed in his hands a bag containing thirty pieces of silver, saying: “Judas, I have been appointed to pay you for the betrayal of Jesus. Here is your reward.” Thirty pieces of silver was the going rate for a healthy slave.

Judas could not believe his ears. He tried to run back into the chamber, but the gatekeeper barred the way. They would not let him back in. Judas blamed them for allowing him to betray Jesus and then giving him such an insulting reward. He walked away in a fog and automatically dropped the money bag into his robes, where he once had kept the funds for the apostles. He felt humiliated and completely defeated. And severe disillusionment was growing in his mind. He wandered through the city streets among the crowds who were heading out to see the crucifixion of Jesus and the two thieves.

As he looked into the distance, he saw Jesus being hoisted up on his cross. This sight prompted him to run back to the temple and, this time, he forced his way into the chamber where the meeting was still in session. He was out of breath and very upset, but he managed to say: “I have sinned in that I have betrayed innocent blood. You have insulted me. You have offered me as a reward for my service, money—the price of a slave. I repent that I have done this; here is your money. I want to escape the guilt of this deed.”

These men laughed at Judas, and one of them answered: “Your Master has already been put to death by the Romans, and as for your guilt, what is that to us? See you to that—and begone!”

So again, he left the chamber. But now, he removed the silver pieces from the bag and threw them across the temple floor, just wanting to be rid of this evidence of his betrayal of the Master. Suddenly, Judas was alone and coming to a reckoning with himself; it began to dawn on his mind what the true nature of his acts meant. All of the honor and glory that he imagined in his mind, all the vainglorious illusions that he nurtured, and all the excitement and exhilaration that he had felt at getting revenge, suddenly vanished. He was face-to-face with his disillusioned and disappointed soul. The facts were decidedly unromantic and the harvest of his sin against Jesus was bitter.

Judas now walked alone through the streets, full of despair and guilt and remorse. He walked as a man forsaken into the lonely valley of Hinnom and climbed up on the steep rocks. He took off his belt and tied one end to a tree and the other end around his neck and jumped off the edge. But before he died by strangulation, the knot that he had tied came loose, and Judas—one time ambassador of the kingdom of heaven—crashed to his death onto the rocks below.